Daniel Golenman defines it as the ability to accurately identify our own emotions and also the emotions of others. It is the ability to use emotions to our advantage and apply them to tasks such as thinking and problem solving.
Why do people with high IQ suffer so much? It is because of the lack or little emotional intelligence that they have that makes them drown in a glass of water and feel that the world is falling on them. Emotional intelligence includes self-control, persistence, and self-motivation.
Empathy is one of the characteristics of people with emotional intelligence since it is a fundamental tool that allows us to understand the feelings and emotions of other people and that makes us connect with what the other feels, put ourselves in their shoes and act accordingly. .
Tolerance to frustration is key to developing our emotional intelligence, we must accept that things will not always turn out the way we want and that suffering is an inherent part of life, but if we manage to mentally anticipate that what is likely will not happen. we hope or that there may be unexpected turns that are not to our liking, we will be able to contemplate several variables and thus we will be better prepared.
"Use pain as a stone in your path, not as a camping area"
Alan Cohen.
Emotional self-regulation is the ability to experience emotions of any kind, negative or positive in a moderate and flexible way and that fundamentally depends on the attitude, for example, when we are afraid of a situation X we must take control and try to have a positive internal dialogue To manage that emotion as well as possible, phrases such as: We are going to control ourselves, we have to be brave, we can get out of this, I am calm, it is already happening, etc.
"Intense negative emotions absorb all of the individual's attention, hampering any attempt to attend to something else."
Daniel Golenman.
Perseverance is a variable that is closely related to success and being persistent is a matter of training, it is about setting realistic goals that we can meet and above all, understanding that results and gratification are at the end of the road and that to get there Until then we will not be exempt from making mistakes that are part of learning and evolution.
If we want to achieve great goals we have to be willing to endure a certain discomfort, it is like pain when you train, that discomfort tells us that we are doing well and it is part of the process.
"Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them"
People with great emotional intelligence are not perfectionists because they know that perfection does not exist, they reject the feeling of failure that the incessant search for perfection brings, since trying to be perfect we will never be able to enjoy our achievements.
They know their strengths and weaknesses well. They know how to value their strengths and how to use them in a way that can compensate for their weaknesses, and they take advantage of these strengths in all their social settings.
They are self-motivated since their motivation comes from within and they are very clear about their goals and what they need to achieve it.
They have empathy for others and are genuinely interested in other people, they are able to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand the expressions of others, even without words.
They are not afraid of change since they know how to control their fears so that they do not paralyze the path towards their goals, they accept change as necessary for personal growth and they have the ability to be flexible to adapt when necessary.
They know how to handle their emotions, they know how to channel anger towards situations or events instead of towards people since they are rational and can keep their emotions under control. They are confident and self-assured enough not to be offended by trivial things.
We need more people who care about others, people who hold us together, who see human sensitivity as a strength of the species, leaders who think about collective well-being, proactive people who know how to listen and with an optimistic attitude towards life. People who give us smiles and touch our hearts.
"When emotional intelligence merges with spiritual intelligence, human nature is transformed"
Deepak Chopra.